I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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