GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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