I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
