I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
