YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
