its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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