This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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