you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
