Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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