my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
