they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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