I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
