Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
