I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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