What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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