U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
