don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize