that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Pooping to opera.
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