Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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