O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize