In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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