Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
