Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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