I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
