Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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