dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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