I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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