Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
