Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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