I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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