Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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