I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
