I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
