Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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