It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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