somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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