When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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