I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
