I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
