you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
