i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize