I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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