Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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