It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
