Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I enjoy the company of your penis
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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