That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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