I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
