So drunk its hurt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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