My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
