I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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