Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize