Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
