she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize