Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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