do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
