i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
