I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
