drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
