i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
