shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
