He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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