You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
